Shopping

I detest shopping. I just sent many women in an uproar with that comment. I can hear them now, "Good Lord, Loco Lady is crazy!"

Last night, my husband, daughter and I went to Sears. We had to purchase a Christmas gift in the tool section. I know that for most men, spending time in the tool department is almost as thrilling as the dream they had last night with Pamela Lee Anderson. But, for me, I'd rather be home, washing the bathtub with softscrub.

Anyway, I'm in line waiting behind one person. It's a woman that is trying to explain to the cashier, she's looking for a sander for a Christmas gift for her husband.

"What type of sander, mam?"

She has a puzzled look. The look of 'oh no, there's more than one kind' look. I know I'm going to be awhile so I start to clean out my purse.

"Well, it plugs in and you can use it on metal or wood."

"Do you know if you plug into an electric outlet or an air compressor?"

"What is an air compressor?"

He tries to get more specifics out of her.

My purse is now clean. They continue to play 'read my mind'. I have now just memorized the upc code of the items I'm waiting to buy.

I figure I had better start being a better person, because if Hell is worse than shopping, I best try to assure I make it to Heaven.